I'm Scared

 I am scared.  And not just a little scared, but like gut-wrenching, I don't wanna go, what have you gotten us into kind of scared!  Frankly, I really don't even think I've ever been so scared about anything. Ever. 
What is dammed up in there?  What in the world is going to come out when I start facing the hard years?  Why can't I just...ugh!  All the questions...one answer.  His glory.  His glory. 
We are heading next week to The National Institute of Marriage.  An amazing place that was the beginning of marriage ministry for us.  This time, though, we are going - for us.  We're good, in fact we're great.  But we just never faced it all, our story.  The one with all the ragged edges that amazingly God has redeemed and now wants us to use for His purposes.
I am not even able to guess what needs dealing with, but I am certain now is the time to do it.  This time of "being still" that He has ordered.  It's preparation time, sifting, repairing, healing time.  I've been stuck for too long in Satan's trap of "we are ok now, never been stronger".  Not that it's not true, because really it is.  But when it comes time to speak it, to hear it, I can't do it, I simply can't do it.  I'm not strong enough (ouch, that's a little hard to admit).  But, it's true, I'm not.  I have no idea why.  I've never told our story - the whole story - to anyone, ever.  And the first time Lane shared it, something happened, I started breaking.  I can't even listen to him tell it, not to mention tell it myself.
Just today I read it:  "Everything your Father has for you — is over the fence of fear.".  So, I guess I'm jumping!  Taking this flying leap of faith, knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that this is His will.  I covet your prayers.  I know He's got this, I know He does.  And I know soon I'll blog from the other side of this.  But for now, for a little while.  I'm scared.

To Get You Through the Rough Days

They were rough days, well actually, they were rough years. Broken and helpless, with not even one person to confide in (pride, that's another issue in and of itself). Living inside a marriage and a home that I desperately wanted out of, and spent most of my time trying to figure out how in the world to get out of. That is where I spent many years. So if you are there, let me share with you a few things that I know. I know My God, and I know Him in a much more intimate and personal way than I ever would have if I had not experienced these years. I spent days and nights on my knees, on my face, seeking, crying, trying to heal. Somewhere in all of the jumbled up mess, I learned to pray for my husband (WHAT?!? I can't even stand him). I know, it's not really easy at the beginning, but something happens to you when you are praying for a person. Your heart begins to melt for them, you begin to see their helplessness, and their need for the God that you know. So that's where it started - the healing - was in prayer. And I don't just mean any prayer. I was praying God's Word* over Him. I searched for every prayer in the Bible that I could find that would even come close to working, and I inserted his name and began speaking it and expecting it. It wasn't overnight, not even close. And things didn't get better, in fact, they got worse. That's where believing and expecting come in. Our God is a good God, He is a redeeming God, He is a faithful God, and He has promised that His Word would not come back to Him void. You must believe it, you must expect it. There is much more to the story. And, glory to God, it ends with incredible healing, forgiveness, and redemption. But just for today, if you are struggling, know that there is hope, that He is hope. "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand]. I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust!" Psalm 91:1 Amp. Dwell with Him, lean on Him, rest in Him. *Eph 1:17-19, Phil 1:9-11, Col 1:9-10...to get you started.

Our Promised Land

1 Cor 10: 1-6
Num 14: 19-20

God was with the Israelites in the form of a cloud by day and fire by night. They were fed supernaturally, given drink the same way, and all of them passed safely through the Red Sea. They had visible and tactile evidence of the awesome powers of God. Yet, all but 2 of them grumbled, complained, tried and tested God (and that means around 2 million people minus 2...that is a lot of grumbling). He wasn't sufficient for them. His provision wasn't sufficient for them. They were lustful and craved carnal pleasures instead.

It wasn't just a temptation for them, it's a temptation for us as well. We at NLC are on the verge of monumental growth. We are already seeing God's awesome power first hand in our healed marriages, in our loved ones who are calling on the name of Jesus for the first time, in the loosening of the chains that were once binding some of us, and in many, many countless ways. James is on top of his game, and is leading us from a Spirit-filled level that is second to none. Yet, if we aren't mindful, and forget the “examples” God has graciously given us in His Word, we, like the Israelites, will be tempted to grumble and complain, to be disquieted and dissatisfied with the provision God offers us.

He is leading us to our promised land, He is opening the way for hearts to be healed, for souls to be saved, for lives to be changed. I dare say He is guiding us to lead the way for a whole community to know His name!

Take heart, and have faith. Be like Joshua and Caleb, who believed God, who took Him at His very word. All 13 men who scouted out the promised land reported that “surely it flows with milk and honey”. They even brought some of the fruit from the land back and showed it to Moses, Aaron and the entire congregation. But, they also saw giants. There are giants in our way as well. But they are not here to defeat, they are here to be defeated so that the name of God will be glorified! Don't be tempted to believe what your eyes are seeing when you know it is contrary to the vision God has given us. Joshua and Caleb saw the giants as well, the same as the others. The difference was, they CHOSE to BELIEVE GOD.

Remember His glory and His signs, and remind those that God has placed under you. As for the rest of the Israelites, they were forgiven, but they did not make it to the promised land. Let's choose to believe and let's enter the land - together...with not one missing.

Hope

Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.

What a promising verse. Who wouldn't be comforted knowing that God has thoughts and plans for them? One translation says “...They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” I know a few people who could use some hope.

Well, Hope is here. It is found among these verses, and it is found all through the Word. Let's take a look, though, at exactly what we are hoping for. Back up to verse 10, “...When seventy years are completed...I will visit you and keep My good promise to you...”. Wow, seventy years! So just before this tremendously popular verse of encouragement, God has basically said, “But you have to wait seventy years for it”.

That is a long time. But when we delve a little deeper and read a little further, we realize that His plan for them is worth waiting for, and that it may not be what some might expect. Maybe you're thinking new car or a new house (a few verses earlier He does tell them to build houses, dwell in them and plant gardens and eat of them). However, that is not His plan. God is providing for their necessities (and for yours, too), but His plan involves something more, something deeper.

The next couple of verses reveal the heart of God with terms like “call upon Me”; “come and pray to Me”; “seek Me”, “inquire for”, “require Me”, and “search for Me with all your heart”. This is God's plan, these are His thoughts. That we, His precious, chosen people, would seek Him with everything we have. Then His amazing promise comes “I will hear and heed you”, and “Then you will...find Me”.

Our God is a God who is madly, deeply, crazy jealous for YOU. For you to know Him, seek Him, inquire of Him, and require Him in everything. Thankfully, it doesn't always take seventy years for us to “get” it. Maybe your heart has forgotten, and this is your reminder, that He is our hope. Seek, call, inquire, require and search for Him. “Then you will...find Me when you search for Me with all your heart”.

Living Memorials

Psalm 92: 12-15
“The [uncompromisingly] righteous shall flourish like the palm tree [be long-lived, stately, upright, useful, and fruitful]; they shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon [majestic, stable, durable, and incorruptible].
Planted in the house of the Lord, they shall flourish in the courts of our God.
[Growing in grace] they shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be full of sap [of spiritual vitality] and [rich in the] verdure [of trust, love, and contentment].
[They are living memorials] to show that the Lord is upright and faithful to His promises; He is my Rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.”

Do you see it - the promise in those verses? The promise to flourish, to grow, to be fruitful, full of vitality, rich in contentment (how many want some of that). And the greatest promise in these verses...living memorials to show off GOD'S faithfulness. Simply amazing!

Are you going through a rough period? This is your time! “What do I do” is the question I am most often asked. My answer is “do” nothing, just “be”. Right here in verse 13, it beckons us to be “planted in the house of the Lord”. Plant means to “put or set in the ground for growth”. Growth, dear friends, growth. Plant yourself in the house of the Lord among His people who will love you and water you with His Word. Plant yourself in worship. Plant yourself in the Bible, digging up truth for yourself. This is your time! Your roots are growing deep and strong, and you “shall flourish in the courts of our God”!

Your legacy is beginning right now, even as you struggle. You are growing into a strong, majestic, and stately example for the next generation of followers, who will look at your life and see a “living memorial” that will testify to the faithfulness of our God. He is our Rock. He is faithful.

Believe!

Would you believe with me? Would you just dare to believe, and to take God at. His. very. Word.

1 John 5: 14-15 "This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him."

Mark 11:24 "Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you."

Pray today, and believe. And when you need a little help, pray this: “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24.

The Healer

I heard God speak to me as I fell asleep last night that I have the gift of healing. Umm..ok, God, that could be a little strange and scary. Where do I go with that? Do I just lay hands on someone and claim their healing for them? What does this look like? What will my spiritual heads say when I tell them this? All of this going through my mind as I try to fall asleep. An hour or so later, I am well into the land of dreams, when I am awakened by my husband. “Katy* is at the door, she is crying and needs to talk to us.” Good grief, I admit, was my first thought. But as soon as I rounded the corner from the bedroom to the living room, and saw the broken mama sitting crying on my couch cradling her toddler, while Lane cradled her baby, the grief I felt was not “good”. And it was all very familiar. We dug with her, got in the trenches with her, and we are not about to get out until there is complete healing, complete victory – and there WILL be. I have tasted victory over the wiles of Satan, I have lived it. My God has fought for me, and now He asks me to stand and fight with others. I will. I count it a privilege. I read today in John 13, about Jesus putting on the towel and washing the feet of His disciples. Done not really to cleanse them, but to give them an example of how He wants them to live. I will, Lord, I say. I will. As I finish reading, I bow my head and ask God to expound on His gift of healing He gives me. It is not a Benny Hinn type of healing, it is a washing kind of healing. A washing of love, of prayer, of digging deep in the trenches, a washing of His Word over the hurting while He fights for them, while He binds up the broken hearted and releases prisoners from darkness! Yes, indeed a privilege. I will, Lord. I will, because You have been my perfect example. Because You have tenderly and gently led me, so I will lead others to be washed by the Healer. *you know that's not the real name, right? :)


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